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Thread: Pingan’s practice

  1. #31
    Awesome! This is so much more fun than doing it on my own. Thanks PoE!

  2. #32
    It’s late and I’m sitting down and I have a choice in this moment to go over my old problems and try to squeeze more sense out of them, or instead just feel better...and you know, the better choice is just to feel better.

    I don’t have to earn my happiness. I don’t have to fix myself. I can just feel better.

    Am I really looking for answers anyway? Perhaps what I’m doing is pushing against...I push against my confusion and uncertainty and incompleteness under the guise of “answers”. It’s like I’m trying to push back the darkness; and hows that been working out for me?

    That’s such a beautiful transformation—I’m not looking for answers, I’ve just been pushing against my confusion etc. And so I’ve just gotten more and more of it. Every time i sit down to “work things out” I redouble my focus on unwanted feelings.

    Real answers and insights and clarity are manifestations. They aren’t the product of effort and certainly not the result of pushing against.

    I receive more of these insights - and appreciate them more - when I simply feel better. The choice to feel better has just now given me this transformed perspective of my old pattern of thought.

    Let that sink in a bit more: my search for answers has been pushing against. Pushing against. My search for answers has been pushing against, as if I can get rid of the delusion and ignorance I once believed were the cause of suffering.

    Folks this is a big deal for me. Ahhh, no wonder the search was endless. No wonder I always wound up back in the same spot. See, I thought I was digging for buried treasures, but I was actually just trying to get rid of all the dirt.

    Time to feel better again! Wouldn’t it be nice to stop pushing against so-called ignorance and delusion and confusion. What are those anyway? How do I know they even exist? Feeling better is so much more straightforward and directly rewarding. I know it’s working because I can feel it!

  3. #33
    Oh yes! It’s much clearer now on more concrete subjects: when I think about them with a “problem solving” approach I’m really just pushing against what is - my dissatisfaction or my frustration or my confusion and lack of resolution.

  4. #34
    I used to think “if I can get rid of all my problems then life will be easy”. Now I want to think “if I can feel a lot better then life will be really enjoyable!”

    Feel the difference?
    Of course you do

    Do you realise how good it feels to focus on something that has no resistance and not even care about its relevance?

    Do you feel the shining difference between you on your old subjects and you letting the wind blow fresh and free on something totally new?

    I can feel it. I’d really love to get more practiced at that. Let go of any pointless objections (or pointed ones) and just feel good daydreaming about random easy things.

    It’s like a holiday. Holidays feel good because there’s nothing connecting you back to old habits. You wake up in anew room in a new place and everything is pleasant but different enough that you can’t get that old resistance running.

    I’d love to wake up tomorrow and really feel that. I’d love to feel the absence of resistance. I’d love to feel new thoughts and new ideas flowing through me with ease. And I can do it because I’ve already done it once, twice, maybe three times on purpose. I can do it. I can wake up tomorrow without resistance, just enjoying the free and easy feeling of new vibration.

  5. #35
    I’m paying more attention to the ideas and feelings that pop up when I’m practicing feeling better.

    Just now something came up that made me feel really bad, like I’m a morally bad person.

    From Source’s point of view this makes sense: if I think I’m bad, I’m strongly disagreeing with Source. Therefore I feel bad.

    I spend a lot of time and effort trying not to make mistakes and avoid offending or upsetting people. I think this is because the “I’m bad” thoughts are old and have some momentum.

    When I try to prove to myself that I’m not morally bad, this just ends up strengthening the false premise that I can become unworthy of Source.

    I know I have an overactive fear of being blamed and being wrong. But that stems from pretty obvious childhood influences. As children we don’t understand morality or abstract wrongness, we just know that we are being targeted with hostility or disapproval and that it feels awful. Maybe some kids fight and act out in rebellion but others submit and do whatever it takes to make things “right” again, even if that means agreeing “I was wrong, i am bad, it’s my fault you are angry, I’m sorry.”

    I didn’t know that this was hiding under the surface, so I’m glad it came up. The whole idea that I might be bad or wrong and therefore deserving of hostility and hate...that’s a nice pocket of resistance to soothe.

    I create my reality, ad in my reality there are people who are “obviously” bad and I have to work hard to make sure I’m not one of those, or else people will hate me and reject me and maybe hurt me.

    But that’s just the reality I’ve created by default. I ca change it by changing my thoughts.

    I’m not bad and I’m not wrong. It’s not possible for me to be bad. It’s not possible for me to be wrong. No matter others opinions there is nothing I can do or think or be that would stop Source loving and accepting and appreciating me.

    Source never looks at me with hostility or contempt. Source never rejects me. Source never judges me. It’s not possible for me to be “bad” so I should not live in fear of that. I should not live with fear of causing others to hate or reject me...I don’t create their reality any more than they create mine.

    I can’t be bad. I can’t be morally wrong. I can’t be unworthy of Source. I can’t be unworthy of love and appreciation. I can’t be the cause of others anger or hate or anything negative.

    I can’t get it wrong and I can’t be in the wrong. That’s just an old fear coming from how I took other people’s drama at face value. I’m not responsible for other people’s emotions. I’m not responsible for how others feel or how others react to me.

    Except that I creat my reality and if I live in fear of being “bad” I’ll see evidence to support that.

    But if I let go of that and appreciate how I can never be bad and never be wrong and never be deserving of others negativity, then I can let go of all that and allow a much better experience to take shape!

    I can’t be bad. I can’t get it wrong. I can’t make mistakes. I’m always learning. I’m always expanding. I’m always basking in the love of Source.

  6. #36
    This is so good. I no longer think I have to “work” to feel better....I can stop pushing and my insights and feelings just develop naturally.

    So following on from the insight that I’m not bad and I can’t be bad, I saw something about another (fictional) persons anger and it made me a little uncomfortable.

    But I saw that my fear didn’t really match their anger. My ( now decreasing) fear was my own. It wasn’t caused by other people’s anger.

    And to be honest other people’s anger just isn’t as bad as I thought. How can I put it....I used to think anger was the end of the world, but that’s because my fear was so strong.

    If I’m not bad then I don’t feel so afraid. And if I don’t feel so afraid then other people’s anger is not so bad after all.

    Anger is not the end of the world. People can get very angry by their standards but get over it quickly by my standards.

    In fact others anger doesn’t have any real connection to my fear at all! If I’m easily scared I’ll jump at the slightest sound. If I’m brave then even a violent confrontation won’t scare me in the slightest.

    Back to feeling better now. This has been a great excursion! I really feel like Source is guiding me

  7. #37
    lemon-up's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    alignment in the good place
    pingan, i am enjoying reading your thread; it helps me to go up the egs on daily events that come into my mind.

  8. #38
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Elfengarten, Germany
    Quote Originally Posted by lemon-up View Post
    pingan, i am enjoying reading your thread; it helps me to go up the egs on daily events that come into my mind.
    Me, too! She (?) is soo inspiring!!

  9. #39
    lemon-up's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    alignment in the good place
    Quote Originally Posted by paradise-on-earth View Post
    Me, too! She (?) is soo inspiring!!

    yes, seems very inspiring and gentle yet to the point

  10. #40
    Ahh Lemon-up and PoE!!! Thank you for your beautiful words!
    It’s co-creation for sure, because it’s peeps like you that set th vibration for this place, that I then want to be a part of, and call forth words and thoughts that are up to speed, and...I’m just really really glad
    I feel a sense of belonging here.
    P.S. I’m a He But I’ll take it as a strong compliment

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