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Thread: How To Get Over Someone ASAP?

  1. #11
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paradise-on-earth View Post
    Focus on ANYTHING that feels better!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mickey View Post
    maybe it is understandable I'd rather go to the better feeling ones.
    Of course it is! And that is the answer you really had asked for, right?

    Only you CAN know what gives you relief. We others all can only add our very own 2 cents to it offering other stances about what has worked for *us*, from where you might feel - in pondering others experiences and opinions- a deeper clarity about what *you* would prefer.

    As you have your completely unique Vortex that calls you, and your completely unique preferences in which you want to handle and shape life, based upon your unique life-experience- this all makes up your totally unique path of least resistance here, and now, which really can not be the absolute same as the path of others.

    So it all comes back to my first hint, that only you can know (or figure out) what feels better to you, in this moment and then the next and the next, right?

  2. #12

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    If something is repeating you may not have gotten to the heart of the matter in terms of your vibration on it. Did you ever read HiTC's posts on fixing her money vibe? Maybe a similar approach for you on relationships would make sense.

    Personally I fixed my relationship vibe with some pretty hardcore dredging, it was before I found Abe, but looking back it was pretty clear that I got to the root of what caused my repetitive pattern, made peace with where I was, got authentically clear on what I wanted, which raised my vibration, and now I am in wonderful relationship with someone who is very different from my past partners.

    When you are in the throes of break up pain, focusing on loving the person may not feel soothing, but as you make peace with the relationship being over you can start exploring appreciating them for what the relationship taught you and see where that takes you.

    C

  3. #13
    WellBean's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mickey View Post
    Yes, this is called practicing self-compassion in psychology. Abraham did suggest to "be your best friend" once, meaning to be gentle with yourself, although I find it's not a major part of their message. But a good idea nonethless and I did do it.
    I?m glad you phrased this the way you did because I mean it more than being gentle with yourself. Although this is a big part of it.

    What if every relationship directly reflected your self-love?

    Self love not meaning how you compare yourself to others (I?m smart, kind, have nice things, I?m kickass at this LOA stuff) but how much you EMBODY your Inner Being, how much you truly know your worth as a valuable and beloved part of LIFE and LOVE energy. I believe for most of us this is a life-long process, so there is no winner winner chicken dinner prize at some point. I?m not even sure it?s something we can speed up, but practicing these spiritual principles feels pretty good so maybe it does help.

    I personally have noticed that my relationships trend toward improvement just from living this way as best I can, not from working on relationships. (Maybe others have different experiences and I honor that.)

    So I think it?s easier to get over someone when you are able to truly know that you just aren?t a good fit anymore. When they are a discordant and non-resonate note in your symphony.

    And in the meantime you love your own company so much you don?t notice the them-shaped-hole in your energy, and it will eventually fade anyway. I heard Abraham say once that we had plans with our exes, and we can feel a little or a a lot of energetic loose ends after a break up. For example, let?s say you had planned to go on vacation in October. Some of your energy and thoughts were already on that vacation with them. And now it feels so undone, energetically. Like a hundred undone projects on your desk and now the one who was started these projects with you has gone and your desk is a mess and you don?t have any clue how to proceed. Maybe it takes a bit of time to tidy up these energetic loose ends. Maybe that can feel resentful or angry or sad, too. Or it can feel like relief or even excitement. Maybe you didn?t really want to go on that vacation.

    Wishing you much happiness.

  4. #14
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mickey View Post
    Yes, this is called practicing self-compassion in psychology. Abraham did suggest to "be your best friend" once, meaning to be gentle with yourself, although I find it's not a major part of their message. But a good idea nonethless and I did do it.
    That's odd, I've found that it's really the foundation of their message, but we all tune into different things based on what we're ready to hear.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mickey View Post
    I know they say that, and I did repeat to myself "you don't miss him, you miss the kind of focus he inspired within you". It didn't / doesn't help.
    Never suggested that repeating those words to yourself would help. Rather, it's just recognizing that it's always about alignment. You know this already, which you already talk about. It's just that noticing small things like talking about how you miss the person just shows you where your focus is. Nothing wrong with being where you are -- after all, you are where you are. That also explains why telling yourself you miss your alignment doesn't really help -- because you're HERE, not where you want to be. That's the emotional journey.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mickey View Post
    The pain of a break-up isn't always about the absence of a person, it's a mix of lots of negative emotions.
    Indeed it is. It's LOA showing you where you really are in relation to where you want to be as well as the gap with the improvement you've just launched.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mickey View Post
    Like anger that even after doing all this work on my relationship vibe, I am still here having experiences like this, still attracting the wrong men, anger at being mistreated, the lack of respect, etc. Upon analyzing my feelings I realize a lot of them aren't even about him not being here but anger about how things played out and then I'm like okay well then I identified all these issues I'll just move up on the scale on them one by one and then focus on what I want again. No taking relationship related action for the next month, just doing energy work.
    All of that is completely understandable. Just remember that you can't have a happy ending to an unhappy journey. Usually that's the last thing you want to hear especially when you want what you want RIGHT NOW but a big chunk of all of this is figuring out how you can be easier about all of this and start having some fun along the way.

  5. #15
    Jewel M.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mickey View Post

    Getting over someone means "stop caring about someone" if you prefer phrasing it like that. About the rest of your message, well surely you can understand that there isn't 1 right path that is appropriate for everyone. I'd rather forget all of this ever happened. My Inner Being can have the good parts of the relationship, I am not interested anymore. I just want to move on and never think about it again.
    Hi Mickey,

    How to unbind yourself of this relationship? How about not calling it a relationship? Call it moments you enjoyed and also did not enjoy with someone. It's like when someone refers to a lasagna, and you know it is a baked dish with many ingredients, but you can also call it noodles, tomato sauce, ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, and ground beef.

    Calling it moments, takes away the pressure of a failed or successful relationship. It frees you. So moments are like anything in life, eating a bowl of cereal, watching the sunrise.

  6. #16
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jewel M. View Post
    Hi Mickey,

    How to unbind yourself of this relationship? How about not calling it a relationship? Call it moments you enjoyed and also did not enjoy with someone. It's like when someone refers to a lasagna, and you know it is a baked dish with many ingredients, but you can also call it noodles, tomato sauce, ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, and ground beef.

    Calling it moments, takes away the pressure of a failed or successful relationship. It frees you. So moments are like anything in life, eating a bowl of cereal, watching the sunrise.
    That's sweet. I like that! I can feel the relief of this!

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jewel M. View Post
    Hi Mickey,

    How to unbind yourself of this relationship? How about not calling it a relationship? Call it moments you enjoyed and also did not enjoy with someone. It's like when someone refers to a lasagna, and you know it is a baked dish with many ingredients, but you can also call it noodles, tomato sauce, ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, and ground beef.

    Calling it moments, takes away the pressure of a failed or successful relationship. It frees you. So moments are like anything in life, eating a bowl of cereal, watching the sunrise.
    Really good. This reminds me of a section in APOE. The question is how do I know who is the one? Abe says how about ?this is the one I?m having dinner with right now? or ? the one I went to the park with?.

  8. #18
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WellBean View Post
    Really good. This reminds me of a section in APOE. The question is how do I know who is the one? Abe says how about ?this is the one I?m having dinner with right now? or ? the one I went to the park with?.
    Yes, exactly...
    ...always the one that is making my heart sing, NOW....
    And always it is our job to focus on who is with you, in love- or TO LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE.

    which reminds me of a quote of Meister Eckehart (a German mystic from the middle ages who inspired Eckhart Tolle to his pseudonym):

    Always is the most important time the Now.
    Always is the most important person the one you are looking at.
    Always is the most important deed, to love.


    It's not about them- it's about YOU


    It's not the things he's doing right or wrong, that are making you happy or not happy.
    It's your response to them,
    It's your reaction to them;


    It's the resistance you assign yourself, that is causing your discord. So, now this is good because you're very forthright with us. So what does that mean to you? -So that means, in your words:

    "Abraham, then that means I have to put up with stuff that I really don't want and, you're telling me that it's my problem and that I just need to feel good, anyway?" -Pretty much! There's no possibility that you're ever going to be in a place without contrast.

    But what you do about the contrast is everything.


    And most humans, in the subject of relationships want to talk about what the other person is gonna do in regards to contrast, or in regards to resistance, not what they're going to do. And

    you can't control what they do, but you can control what you do!

    So what we're talking about is the difference between flowing energy, because you are in alignment and you're feeling the call, and reacting to what someone else is doing.



    - Abe, San Diego, 8-20-2016
    Last edited by paradise-on-earth; 09-23-2021 at 05:33 AM.

  9. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Consciously View Post
    If something is repeating you may not have gotten to the heart of the matter in terms of your vibration on it. Did you ever read HiTC's posts on fixing her money vibe? Maybe a similar approach for you on relationships would make sense.
    I probably read the posts a few years ago but can't really remember them anymore. But you're right, this experience helped me identify two deeper vibrational issues that I just took as "normal" and "just the way things are" up until now. I cleaned up the first one yesterday, and will continue with the other one too.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBean View Post
    I?m glad you phrased this the way you did because I mean it more than being gentle with yourself. Although this is a big part of it.

    What if every relationship directly reflected your self-love?

    Self love not meaning how you compare yourself to others (I?m smart, kind, have nice things, I?m kickass at this LOA stuff) but how much you EMBODY your Inner Being, how much you truly know your worth as a valuable and beloved part of LIFE and LOVE energy. I believe for most of us this is a life-long process, so there is no winner winner chicken dinner prize at some point. I?m not even sure it?s something we can speed up, but practicing these spiritual principles feels pretty good so maybe it does help.
    Interesting point. I listened to the special subject series - mating recording a few weeks ago where they said that every relationship does reflect our self-love (they used the words self-appreciation IIRC) . They also said that they wouldn't even start a relationship until they have accomplished self-appreciation. So from Abraham's point of view, self love is accomplishable. Although I am sure it's one of those things you need to practice, not like the college degree you have forever once you attained it.

    And well yes I definitely have some work to do on that subject as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    That's odd, I've found that it's really the foundation of their message, but we all tune into different things based on what we're ready to hear.

    Well, I listened to / read a huge amount of their material, and only once did I hear them use the phrase "be your best friend". The focus is more on caring about the way you feel and feeling better. A different emphasis but sure they are not distant from each other.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jewel M. View Post
    Hi Mickey,

    How to unbind yourself of this relationship? How about not calling it a relationship? Call it moments you enjoyed and also did not enjoy with someone. It's like when someone refers to a lasagna, and you know it is a baked dish with many ingredients, but you can also call it noodles, tomato sauce, ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, and ground beef.

    Calling it moments, takes away the pressure of a failed or successful relationship. It frees you. So moments are like anything in life, eating a bowl of cereal, watching the sunrise.
    What an amazing idea. Thank you for this comment, this would have been helpful with all my past break ups as well.


    I'm happy I started this thead, so many wonderful and helpful perspectives have been offered. Thank you

  10. #20
    Jewel M.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paradise-on-earth View Post
    That's sweet. I like that! I can feel the relief of this!
    I felt relief in it too! I'm glad you liked it.


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