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Thread: Question: People who commit an abuse of power & family dilemma

  1. #1
    findsomethingtoappreciate
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    Exclamation Question: People who commit an abuse of power & family dilemma

    Hi there,

    as a manifestation pattern there are people around me now and then, who consciously try to use their power against me. They try to strain me, observe me, critisize me, ridicule me, tell me what to do and how to do it. The worst case is when I owe them something. In that moment they seem to forget every little bit of tact and repeat their compulsions. This pattern haunts me since the last 10 years.

    And I am in such a situation right now again - unfortunately with my own big brother (we live together in one flat with our parents and his son and wife). As a result the relationship between me and him ... is no relationship at all. And as far as I can think back I had neutral or negative feelings about him. If I could I would leave him and his terrible wife far behind me. But we have to keep that connection because we are looking after his son fulltime - and we love him from our hearts! I could never leave my nephew behind. I love him. And my brother and his wife are terrible, terible parents without a heart, without interest for their own child and only looking for money, power and prestige. I am scared when I think back how they treated their son when he was a baby ...

    Plus: My parents and I don't earn as much money as my brother does. And when there comes up a new bill, he is a completly different person. The pressure is so high that the only 'solution' seems to be money. Somewhere, somehow. Because when there is money on the table, there is tact and respect. And I feel deeply disappointed about that.

    I really, really, really want to end this pattern. And I want my beloved nephew to live with us and my brother and his wife to live seperately. But techniques like 'what IS it that I DO want' in a contrasting situation like this don't help that much. Because there is only one thought left: I want to escape! I want to end this! Even my body rings the bells.

    How to deal with this? How to turn the other cheek? How to find the road to MY happiness?
    Because I KNOW my brother is not right about what he says about me and my life ...
    I KNOW that I am worthy, that I can live the life my way. But I can't see the road to it ...

  2. #2
    lemon-up's Avatar
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    there has to be a complete commitment to believing in these processes and fully set your tone to your positive momentum.
    unwavering trust that it's ok , more than ok for you to want what you want no matter what goes on around you.
    what you want, wants you...
    read, pray, listen, focus, practice, make a 30 day thread.......learn from this forum and esther's books and youtubes.
    stay on the mark with what you intend.......
    I'm not saying there won't be days of disappointment and attention to the negative, however the pull must be towards your positive momentum of what you intend.

    it's never about what they want.......it's always about what you want. peace and happiness is possible when you tend to your part and let them be who they are.......the path will open for you when you stay on your mark.

    you can do it

  3. #3
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    If you "really, really, really want to end this pattern," you are going to have to find some way of telling a new story about all of these people. Because, with each word of your post, you are practising your unwanted momentum and creating more of the same.

    Because you've practised this habit to such an extent that it has "haunted you" for a decade, you're not going to be able to jump from "I don't want this" to "I want that." It's too far of a vibrational jump to do all at once. Have you heard Marc's story about getting to the top of a tall building from the ground floor? What you are trying to do is jump from the sidewalk pavement up to the top floor and, as you're finding, you can't do it. However, if you take the stairs--meaning if you practise a slightly better-feeling story about them and then a slightly better-feeling story, etc.--you'll find you're able to get to the top floor of the building faster and more easily.

    One way to do that is to Go General. You have practised very specific negatives about this story, so start telling the story more Generally. "I have different opinions from the other members of my family and that sometimes causes me distress." Same topic, same "truth" but can you feel how the vibration of it all is softened just by those General terms? Do more of that. There's a helpful (and active) thread on this Process here that you might like to read and participate in.

    Once you've slowed your momentum towards Unwanted in this story, you can start to Generally focus your momentum towards Wanted.

    Hope that helps.
    Last edited by WellBeing; 01-08-2014 at 08:29 PM. Reason: to fix link

  4. #4
    lemon-up's Avatar
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    findsomethingtoappreciate, I love your name

  5. #5
    lemon-up's Avatar
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    once you become aware of what you are wanting........such as this thread today, then you are already attracting what will make things better for you........and only your inner guidance can show you what inspired action to take and when.

    and you will attract exactly what you are wanting to assist you with your journey

  6. #6
    If you notice the emotions you have in response to whats going on, you can notice an emotional storyline within yourself.

    Meaning, you might wake up feeling one way, then, like clockwork, something will happen, to make you feel another way, then you try to do another thing, and as usual, this other thing will happen.

    Once you notice the pattern of emotions that you are creating within yourself, you can start to react differently. When you are in a relatively good and empowered mood, decided what you really want to feel and think when those expected things happen.

    Then, lets say when dear brother starts yelling about a bill, you will be able to tell yourself those good things that you have been practicing. So lets say a bill is going to be late, and he is the one who is paying most of the money, so he starts using profanity or something.

    And you have been practicing understanding that he does so because he feels like a nobody if he doesn't have money. And you have been practicing understanding that he doesn't know abe, and that you are really in the empowered position, not him. You'll probably feel bad for amoment like you used to, but it wont be the same at all. You might not feel frightened or pressured, you might actually be able to feel sympathy for him, and he will no longer be able to frighten you or make you feel small.

    If you do this sort of thing, after a while, your positive influence will raise all of the self esteem of the entire household, and after a while even he may calm down a bit. And most definitely if you do this sort of thing, YOU WILL HAVE AN INCREASE IN INCOME. Because so much pressure around money is sure to make everyone broke, except those who aren't offended by the abuse.

  7. #7
    findsomethingtoappreciate
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    Dear lemon-up, WellBeing and Gaily!

    I was drowning in tears after I read your deep, inspired and so much helpful words. I can't say how thankful I am for your words. You helped me to release so much pressure. The touching lines were these:

    (lemon-up) what you want, wants you...
    read, pray, listen, focus, practice, make a 30 day thread.......learn from this forum and esther's books and youtubes.
    stay on the mark with what you intend.......

    (WellBeing) "I have different opinions from the other members of my family and that sometimes causes me distress." Same topic, same "truth" but can you feel how the vibration of it all is softened just by those General terms? Do more of that.

    (Gaily) Because so much pressure around money is sure to make everyone broke, except those who aren't offended by the abuse.

    I feel so much lighter after reading all of this! And so inspired! I will try as you say and will come back to report the outcome in the next days

  8. #8
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Tears are a beautiful indicator that you have released resistance. Good for you!

    You might want, if it feels good for you to do, to open a Practise thread, as lemon suggested, in that sub-forum. You have attracted a support group (and I'm sure there might be others) who might coach you in the application of these teachings on this subject.

    I just want to remind you that "the outcome" you are looking for "in the next days" will be an emotional outcome. Emotions are a manifestation and will be an indicator that you have shifted your vibration even just a little on this subject.

    Feel better and better and....

  9. #9
    lemon-up's Avatar
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  10. #10
    Reema
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    I read this quote today:

    "The great gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you."~ Kendall Hailey

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