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Thread: Question: People who commit an abuse of power & family dilemma

  1. #11
    Akadea's Avatar
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    Jan 2014
    I am in Asturias, Spain
    I had a image of your brother. maybe is a silly image. But there it goes. I saw your brother so upset, scared and frustrated for the feeling of having to be the one taking the big finacial welbeing responsability upon his shoulders. He was so upset because "no body" was letting him giving up at least one time, taking the responsability out of his shoulders and doing what he really wanted to do, away from all the family financial welbeing.

    Just in case it helps.

  2. #12
    Dear people,
    today was the result of long-term trust and trained hopefulness and ease. All family members were sitting at a table and were talking for hours. And I had a feeling that this will stay calm and relaxed. So it did. All members could speek freely and openly. And we made a list of positive and negative facts that are to be changed in this family. The first point was: Sould we move apart in two or three different apparments? Or in a larger house, but all together? And who sould be taking care of the new baby that is coming in June? And what will it cost? Who will pay?
    As my father said to me later: This is a wonder! My brother and his wife listened for the first time to the things we had to say. And the critique was neutral. All was good.

    And the result is this: We will stay together in the current apparment, no rush. And all sides agreed that moving to a different home would be that expensive, that noone wants to pay this. Secondly, my brother accepted my wish for not changing the rooms (he and his wife wanted my room and the one of my father, and I and my father sould take their single room together). We will try to make their room and bathroom as comfortable as possible for the new baby. Actually it is even better that way, because (!) the wife wants to take care of the new baby so that we don't have to. BUT: She asked us to help her whenever she needs our help and she asked for our permission to go back to work a few months after the birth :-D I am soooo happy!

    YES, she finally realized that we are here, too, and that we are good at taking care for kids.
    YES, my brother stops all the pressure on me and my parents.
    YES, we don't have to move anywhere, too.

    And for all who think now: What have you done to make this happen in a situation that is aggressive, stressful and under huge pressure? I DID NOTHING. I remembered myself of ease and trust and that all is well in the vortex. That there is a way to all the things I and every other family member wants. And in every situation that could explode I concentrated on my desires and where polite to the others. Nothing more. I consciously hold myself in a mood of hopefulness.


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