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Thread: How to deal with Envy and Jealousy

  1. #1
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    How to deal with Envy and Jealousy

    This quote-collection seems to be very related to the topic:

    Worthiness, in very simple terms,
    means I have found a way to let the Energy reach me,
    the Energy that is natural, reach me.
    Worthiness, or unworthiness, is something that is pronounced upon you by you.

    You are the only one that can deem yourself worthy or unworthy.
    You are the only one who can love yourself into a state of allowing,
    or hate yourself in a state of disallowing.

    There is not something wrong with you,
    nor is there something wrong with one who is not loving you.
    You are all just, in the moment, practicing the art of not allowing,
    or the art of resisting.

    Abraham Hicks

  2. #2
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    Finding lack in others is not the path
    to liking what you see in yourself.


  3. #3
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    Don´t let circumstances or people define who you are

    We want you to be able to mess something up altogether or blow an exam or crash your car or do any other number of things [to which] much of the world would say,

    ‘Well, that was certainly an inappropriate thing for you to do’,
    -and we want you to be able to stand proudly and say,

    ‘Hey, I did that and it doesn’t have any relationship to who I am.’ In other words, ‘Who I am is Source energy physically embodied. Who I am is pure positive energy out here on the leading edge’.
    Who I am is an eternal seeker of alignment with who I am.
    But I’m not going to let any outside standards or judgments confuse me about who I am.’

    San Francisco, CA, 3/16/02

  4. #4
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    For better understanding, here is Abe´s EGS, adapted by me in regards to big dreams and desired relationships:


    By the way, "Fred" is an Aber- analogy of yearning for a relationship. You could use it for ANY dream.
    To learn more about the original "Fred"-story, google "Abraham Hicks, Fred-relationship"

    How "Fred" or any crush or dream, any DESIRE and YOU relate,
    depending on where you are on the EGS

    The dream (Fred): You and him- being in heaven on earth.

    Fullfillment, merging, "manifestation", highest delight imaginable, "getting there", closing the gap, full satisfaction, full relief.
    Also- resolution. Dissolving into feeling "ONE", into BEINGNES.
    eeling free completely, no wishes, no tension, no pull anymore at all, totally giving in, no resistance whatsoever,
    You are who you REALLY are- sheer, manifested love, freedom and joy, absolutely unconditionally.
    = Joy/Knowledge/Empowerment/Freedom/Love/full Appreciation

    The dream (Fred): Wow Wow WOW!!!
    Extreme sweetzone at the brink of fulfillment-phase
    You can do the "impossible"-like "feeling" the touch and the physical-bodily satisfaction even with apartner that isn´t
    physically present, or enjoying physical and emotional ecstasy under conditions that the mind/otherscan´t understand.

    It´s INCREDIBLE. You unconditionally APPRECIATE!
    Nothing can hold you back to act "specific". Extrem high energy, rush of joy and/or inspired physical action.
    = Passion

    You are soaring, regarding Fred (your specific dream)!
    "You are getting it", you appreciate him, no matter if he knows about it, or if he is physically/actively involved or not.
    Your actions feel secure, joyful and stable. You love doing it, you feel powerful and skilled.
    (Explore and act in this highly inspired specifics/details. Do it, talk about it, share it, write about it- milk it!)
    = Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness

    You REALLY enjoy having a specific dream (Fred).
    You are starting to really feel inspired to act, from a place of appreciation.
    What you want to do feels possible, fun, easy and close.
    (go into specifics/details and explore/act in them as long as it feels good. Milk even more!)

    = Positive Expectation/Belief

    You enjoy having a specific dream (aka Fred)
    Excitement- phase.
    You get more and more glimpses of inspiration how to deal with or without him. Ideas of possibilities and maybe even invitations flow to you. Trust them, give in as long as it feels good, play with them in an easy way!
    (Don´t force yourself anywhere. Stay somehow general. Recognize and milk- more inspiration will come, soon!)
    = Optimism

    Entry into appreciating the DESIRE (or "Fred")
    (=the the Vortex)

    The dream (or Fred)- "wouldn´t it be nice, if...?"
    Sometimes, you feel "inspirational glimpses" of really WANTING to do some things. "Wouldn´t it be nice...?"
    (don´t rush into big action! Just play. Set grids of ease. It´s all done! It´s all in the Vortex, so: relax!
    Make yourself comfortable in just surrendering vibrationally into the Vortex. Milk what you enjoy.)

    = Hope

    You are ok with the dream (or the absence of it). But it really could be better. No real appreciation.
    You are on the turning point. Action isn´t very calling, yet. Lean deliberately towards what you really want: Feeling good and loving, UNCONDITIONALLY.
    (Look out for inspiration, interesting stuff, fun. Make grids about fun, joy. Look for the wanted side in work and actions.)
    = Contentment

    Fred (the dream) bores you. Not really bad- but no real interest, either.
    You are tired. No action calls you- neither through inspiration nore through motivation.
    It´s time to go ITV, where all what you REALLY want, is: Feeling good.
    (Don´t beat up on you! Delay, if possible.
    Soothe yourself with really staying general until you feel inspired again. Pet your cat. Watch a funny movie!)

    = Boredom, Tiredness

    You don´t expect the dream aka Fred to be around. Or, when he is, to be good. You would like to avoid him.
    You are inspired (!) to not do anything, but to delay. You don´t want "to go there any longer": GOOD!
    Because it´s not about action or Fred. It´s about you, catching up with YOU, and becoming happy unconditionally.
    (go general: diffuse your focus, if possible: Delay what bothers you. If you can bear it, look at the wanted, but stay very general in it.)

    = Pessimism, Tiredness

    Fred, the Dream (or its absence)
    is frustrating and stresses you. The appreciation is gone.

    You aren´t inspired, and you hardly can feel motivation. What you "want to do" comes from a sad place
    of feeling lonely, hungry and empty.
    While you bang around in focussing on lack, a more and more beautiful Vortex-Versions forms, through all of this.
    (Don´t do visualisations or affirmations from here. Don´t take action.
    GO GENERAL: Chill out, take a nap, just reach for ease, relaxation and flow.)

    = Frustration/Impatience/Irritation, Overwhelmed

    Your dream /Fred (or it´s absence) is really disappointing for you.
    Knowing what you don´t want amasses a more and more finetuned Vortex-Version, that becomes really strong in it´s calling. But because you are focussed on the ABSENCE of your dream, the actions you are motivated to take,aremislead already in a significant way. You don´t see the truth anymore!
    (Don´t look at "it" in this way! Don´t make decisions, don´t act, but GO GENERAL!
    Dont go further into the unwanted details. Look for what you really want, it´s in the Vortex!)

    = Disappointment, Doubt

    The topic of Fred /your dream motivates you to play negative powergames. Far away from appreciation!
    Knowing what you don´t wants creates (if you notice or not) the amassing of what you DO want in your Vortex.
    That makes the dream more and more calling, you yearn more and more for it.
    You feel motivated to act, to catch up with the dream- but in a lackful, not at all lined up or loving way.
    You maybe also want to act out negative impulses to feel some relief.
    (Don´t focus this way! Don´t make decisions, don´t take action. "Take back this thoughts!" (Abe)
    Go general big time- diffuse, look into any other direction, pick another subject, trust the Vortex!)

    = Worry, Blame, Discouragement

    The topic of your dream /Fred makes you angry and highly aggressive against him.
    You are highly motivated to take harsh, painful actions that include high risks of danger and destruction.
    You REALLY want to bang things into shape now with action, but this NEVER works.
    Don´t bear the danger in taking action/making decisions from here! "Take back the fists!" (Abe)
    Go general fast and deeply, diffuse, distract, look into any other direction, pick any other subject. Trust the Vortex!)
    = Anger, Revenge, Hatred/Rage

    The topic of
    your dream (Fred) feels painfully annoying or destructive. You feel as a victim of your dream.
    But in knowing so incredible intense what you do NOT want, you shoot incredibly powerful rockets of what you DO want into your Vortex. Your Vortex-version of your dream becomes more and more beautiful.
    (Release the brakes, don´t focus or even act this way at all, GET HELP. your IB does not agree in any way!
    Diffuse, distract, look into any other direction, pick any another subject, go much more general!)

    = Jealousy, Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness

    Your dream (Fred) doesn´t feel "right" at all- or even possible. You are shutting down on it, completely.
    You are so hurting and down by this mislead focus, that you start to "give up", and seem not interested at all, anymore.
    Keep in mind: The reason you hurt so much, is because you put so much GOOD stuff in your Vortex, and this in the Vortex highly finetuned, very fast spinning dream is calling you.
    But you are focussed in OPPOSITION to it. What you are focussed upon isn´t true, at all- it´s a completely distorted view. GIVE UP.
    Don´t give up the DREAM (it´s impossible, anyway). Give up the RESISTANCE!
    (No action IS right, from here! Don´t focus this way at all. Back off from doing things that scare you, get help instead!!!
    Diffuse/distract completely from the issue, let go, take a long nap, look into any other direction that helps to come back into alignment, pick any another subject, go much more general!)

    = Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness

    from "The map of the soul": Specific EGS-Scales

  5. #5
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    Love is un-earnable

    We think that you try to earn something, that is un-earnable. And if you can accept that it´s un-earnable... ohh, that´s a big one! That´s the best quote of the day:

    If you can accept that the love that you seek is un-earnable,
    -you can´t earn it through your effort or your hard work, but you can line up with it through your absence of resistance- THEN you start discovering:

    It´s not magic.
    It´s just natural.

    You start feeling this natural flow of wellbeing.
    And your desire to perform and jump through hoops
    begins to deminish.

    from the clip
    Abraham Hicks ~ Why do things work out always at the last minute?

  6. #6
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    I'm loved and I'm worthy and Source is flowing to me
    and Source adores me- and nothing serious
    is going on here.


  7. #7
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    Why we seek out validation from others

    At the basis of someone wanting fame
    [or a relationship*] is:
    The desire to be understood.
    The desire to be recognized.
    The desire to be known.
    The desire to be validated.

    And the reason for that... All of you came from non-physical energy where you felt that constant validation, that constant respect and acknowledgement of your value and power.

    And then a part of you, a part of that consciousness was born into this body where it's a little dicier in this human realm because your parents have already forgotten their connection; a lot of people have forgotten their connection. And yet humans keep looking to each other for validation. They want to get approval from each other.

    What they really want is alignment from Source, which Source is giving them all day every day.

    (...) You're looking for it in the wrong places! (You're) craving resonance with your Inner Being and wanting so much to be understood. You gotta not give a rip about what anybody thinks about you because:

    - First of all they're not all that interested in you.
    - Next of all they haven't paid all that much attention
    - And next of all they may or may not be in vibrational alignment with who they are.

    But so many people are seeking that natural desire to be understood and loved, which Source will give them all day every day. But because this connection, especially in the beginning is very subtle. (You have to) tune, you see. Most humans have not learned to tune with that subtlety for that connection that they are craving.

    And so then they lazily, or in a flawed-premise-misunderstanding kind of way, they look for it in others.

    And that's why so many people seek that kind of fame [or relationships*]. -It feels like validation to them.

    - From the clip Abraham Hicks ~ Desire is the Root of all Suffering
    Asheville November 2017

  8. #8
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    My Most Important Relationship Is With My Source…

    There is no relationship of greater importance to achieve than the relationship between you, in your physical body, right here and now, and the Soul/Source/God from which you have come.

    If you tend to that relationship, first and foremost, you will then, and only then, have the stable footing to proceed into other relationships. Your relationship with your own body; your relationship with money; your relationship with your parents, children, grandchildren, the people you work with, your government, your world ... will all fall swiftly and easily into alignment

    -once you tend to this fundamental, primary relationship first.

    Excerpted from The Vortex on 8/31/09

  9. #9
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    About jealousy

    What happens when you are focussed upon the subject of relationships, what you REALLY think about relationships becomes active! Isn´t that interesting?

    And so, (...) when you try to say what you mean but you don´t really MEAN it, what you really mean is what you are offering vibrationally, and that´s what the Universe hears.

    So, jealousy is just an amplified awareness of something wanted, while you are standing in a place of believing that either you don´t have it, or you can´t maintain it.

    (...) It´s looking for love in all the wrong places.

    What you are really looking for, the only thing that fills the void of insecurity- IS SECURITY.
    And what security is, is alignment.

    And we don´t wanna hurt anybody´s feelings, but your alignment hasn´t anything to do with your partner! Your alignment is something that is YOURS.
    It is something that YOU achieve.

    Mediterranean cruise 2013, from the clip
    Abraham Hicks Relationships ~ What is the best way to release feelings of jealousy?

  10. #10
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    You must mine for feeling- and maintaining LOVE.

    HS Doug asks about how to deal with love that changed around from having been so big, to the opposite or not feelable at all anymore. He is mixed up, if she is just not "the right one", or if he could direct his focus back to love, again.

    What happened was, in the early stages, where there was less momentum, it was easier for you to stay in love. But because you didn´t maintain your HFD, THAT momentum wasn´t the momentum that increased!
    It´s just that simple!

    Sometimes, it´s easier to just have another fresh start, somewhere. But the thing is, having another fresh start -we´r not talking about finding another beautiful girl, we´r talking abut another fresh start WITH YOU!

    And that´s the long slow hard way! "Get up, you little Dummy!" Now your going to learn to walk, you get teeth...

    I don´t wanna do that.

    And so... the best thing, always, to do, is to... (...) "Can I be in love, again?"... are you really asking us "Is the potential for what´s in my Vortex HERE, or do I need to look somewhere else?"


    It´s here,
    because it´s HERE ! (pointing to his heart) You see- you want the perfect PERSON to appear in perfect form!

    HS interrupting:
    Absolutely, and it just swooped me up...
    (audience hilarious)

    WE want you to CREATE the perfect person through your focus on her perfection.

    (long pause), HS:
    I´m feeling resistance with that.

    Because you´r lazy.

    (HS squabbling with Abe about this playfully):
    I don´t wanna give that to her, so... how do I give that...

    You can´t! You can´t get there from there!

    Son of a gun, I KNOW...

    Because, you got on the competitive disc, you got on the resentment-disc...

    And I didn´t even realize until... yeah...

    Yah, until the MOMENTUM showed you more.

    HS (touched, moved, sad...):
    So just chill, like- it´s not a place to make a decision from there?

    For sure, for sure, FOR SURE!!!! (...) and something else is really important to know, and that is-
    there is no perfect person. There is just your PERCEPTION of a perfect person.

    So, it´s ok to want something different? And I want something different.

    Of course it is!

    ...and knowing, something different ain´t coming, until *I* am different.

    Perfectly said. But there is another piece that we really want you to hear.And we know, "perfection", that´s not even what you´r reaching for, but let´s just use it (...),

    Perfection is in the eye of the beholder.

    And what most people do is, looking around for the person, that is just there, that just Wows you, and bedazzles you and just sweeps you over, but what we want you to understand- it´s an inside job!

    It´s like- you are the miner for the gold! Nobody just shows up with all the gold! You MINE for it, you see!

    And the more you find, the more you are likely to find more! And the more you find, the more you believe- until you... and THAT is what true love is!

    True love is your ability to stay in alignment, while you look at someone!

    You want to be a true, unconditional lover- not a conditional lover, because- NO ONE has the capacity to hold their conditions in a way, that it will please another. It´s NOT even a possible thing, you see.

    So that is a good place to practice that.

    And when you will remember, where you where and how you felt, when you met. Where you where and how you felt, when you first got going- and just do your best to return to THOSE thoughts, to those... it will stir in you, again,

    and more untapped resources of perfection, from THIS particular person, will reveal themselves, to you!
    (very passionate, conjuring) This is an untapped resource of profound and never ending JOY, that you are ABOUT TO THROW AWAY!!!!

    (laughter, cheering, laughing loudly and saying):
    So, I think we are ok with THAT.

    So, he HEARD it. But he didn´t FEEL it.
    (Doug starting to quarrel about that) -You can´t feel it, because
    you have been in this sort of defensive place. Iow, you´r in your head more than in your vibration. (...) But you´ll get there. Iow, it´s gonna take you a few days of retraining to those feelings that felt so good, before.

    Phoenix, Dec.2013

    It´s about the LOOKING.
    Not about the looked-at!


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