Talkingto my brother I discovered my resistance to owning a bigger home stems from my experience of abuse and neglect in a home. I am afraid of homes because my child self associates the house with all the violence and conflict and manipulation that happened there.

But it was not the house at fault. It was not the house that was to blame. The house could have been a place of love and joy and fun and adventure and support and encouragement.

I do not need to fear that living in a house will trigger those painful feelings and experiences. The house did not create my reality.

I was afraid because a large home has enough space for people to act and live independently and shape their boundaries. My experience was of boundaries being continually violated by my father and sister. So I avoided having boundaries and sought to avoid conflict altogether.

If I am to live in a nice big house, I want to be able to manage my boundaries with love and ease and joy. And managing my boundaries is really just a function of my alignment and non-resistance.

I want to be the real me and have healthy boundaries and manage my relationships from an aligned perspective. And everything in my life will be beautiful and lovely. My children will love me. My partner will love me. My best friend will love me. There will be no serious conflicts because I am not a match to such things.

It is going to be beautiful. I can finally expand into the home I desire. A beautiful home with many spaces for our family to enjoy and explore and call their own. I love this. My house is a place of love and warmth and joy and expansion and delight. I love it.