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Thread: Pingan’s practice

  1. #2271
    Quote Originally Posted by pingan View Post
    I want to focus on my recent experiences with LoA.

    On the subject of my friend with whom I want a closer relationship (like becoming part of my “family”) I have recently had manifestations that are clearly in line with my desire, that came about with zero effort or action on my part, and if I had been trying to make them happen would have seemed like very implausible struggles.

    So that’s great: clear evidence. Irrefutable from my perspective.

    These manifestations came on the heels of some vibrational shifts:
    1. I focused on the fact that other people are like props in my reality. This idea releases resistant worries about others’ points of view. It affirms that only I create in my reality and others respond 100% according to my vibrational offering. I feel like I’ve taken my power back from other people.

    2. I began reminding myself that the things I’d been clinging to (phone calls, visits) were not actually what I desire. I desire much much more, and don’t really care about lesser things.

    3. I realised that trying to change anything (conditions, feelings, thoughts) might implicitly carry a vibration of resistance. So I began reminding myself not to try to change.

    4. I realised that my inner being is already enjoying the essence of my desires. It’s already “there”. And it’s not like I have to catch up with it. It’s already there, completely. And I would be sharing in “there” but for my “not there” thoughts.

    But now go back to 3. and remember that trying to get “there” implicitly keeps resistance active in my vibration.

    These vibrational shifts feel good in the way that having a chiropractor or physio work on your spine feels good when you stand up afterwards, like a new, less resistant, normal.

    I think each of these shifts has helped me find a balance of non-resistant thought, and allowed aspects of my desire to manifest quickly and effortlessly.

    It’ see my manifestations change so easily. The manifestations did temporarily cause me to become conditionally focused, but I have here the tools to release that resistance again.

    So now if I feel like I’m trying to change my reality on some subject, I KNOW that this is resistance. I KNOW conditions and people respond to my vibration. I KNOW my inner being already lives the fulfilment of my desires. I KNOW that I only care about my actual desire and I don’t have to care about the “means” and the “signposts” etc. So I already have everything I need on every subject. And if I still don’t feel quite right about it, that’s Okay! Don’t try to even change how I feel about it. No need to “try” anything. That is such a relief~
    So with money it’s the same. My inner being already has all the money I desire. My inner being is happy in that respect. I may feel bad when I have thoughts that contradict my inner being’s state of having all the money I desire.

    When I feel bad on the subject of money, I don’t need to obtain money, I just need (need is too strong a word) to let go of the thoughts that are irritating me. Because my inner being already has all the money I desire. That’s all complete.

    It’s not conditions causing me to feel bad, it’s just a misaligned thought that doesn’t fit my inner being’s experience of already having what I desire.

    So everything is fine. If i want to feel it I can focus where my inner being is. If I feel bad I can let go of the misaligned thoughts. I have everything I need.

  2. #2272
    My belief about money has been that it is the only thing holding me back from expansion.
    But it is actually my vibrational resistance holding me back from expansion, and lack of money merely reflects that.
    So what is the resistance?
    Well, if I had the money I would feel free to move to a bigger house with enough room for my whole family, enough room to pursue my hobbies and interests, to feel ease and spaciousness, to have multiple places to relax and engage and share time and attention with the people I love.

    Instead I feel like I cannot have these things, and this vibration is a flashback or bad memory from a time when my home life was dominated by abusive, interfering and neglectful people, who restricted my freedom to enjoy the space I lived in.

    In that context I decided my only freedom was within my own mind, and I have maintained that vibration of restriction and limit and powerlessness outside my mind, though it no longer serves me.

    Back when I felt trapped at home and hid within my own mind, I did not know that I had the freedom and power to change my reality.

    Now I know that my mind is free, and my whole reality and experience also reflects the freedom of my mind. My reality is free. My life is free. My experience is free. I am completely free and always have been, to attract anything that matches my vibration and to choose what my vibration be.

    I am not trapped within my own mind, I am empowered. My body is an extension of my mind, and my physical reality is an extension of my mind too. My mind is the source of my freedom. There is no limit to it.

    No one can restrict or limit my freedom. They just give the appearance of doing so as a manifestation of my own vibrational point of attraction. And when my vibration changes, my experience changes too.

    My freedom and power extend everywhere. My reality is my creation and no one else can create in my reality.

  3. #2273
    I was listening to Abe from 2019/2020 before the pandemic, and They were telling the HS to enjoy the calibrating process.

    I would like to enjoy it more. I do calibrate each day, with some very pleasant emotions. But overall I do not feel that the calibration is enjoyable enough in itself. At the moment I feel like the balance of enjoyment to resistance could be much more favourable to me.

    I spend much of each day calibrating. I am definitely improving. The ratio of focused to unfocused moments decreases each day.

    I am beginning to recognise my ability to choose a higher vibration directly, without enquiring into the nature of my resistance. Sometimes it still helps me to ask what I am feeling and what the thought is. But other times I can just say that I want to feel better, and find that better feeling.

    But I do not yet see the pleasure in the calibrating I am doing. I feel the pleasure when I reach a higher vibration, but I know that it will not last, and I think I should be able to maintain it much longer.

    Perhaps that is the sticking point? I have in mind that if I focus enough I will get there and stay there, and then I will not have to suffer anymore, ever.

    But actually it is not like that. The suffering comes from misalignment. And my calibration into alignment is happening piece by piece. i am closing the gap piece by piece. And the gap will never become as big as it was, because I know so much now. But the gap will never close either, because my desires keep growing and expanding.

    But that does not mean I have to accept the suffering I still feel. That suffering is an indicator of where the gap is too wide and I feel like it might tear apart. It cannot tear apart, but it can feel pretty bad if I do not close the gap.

    This gap comes from the vibration I practiced in the past, where I felt lost in chaos. I experienced what felt like inner chaos. But that chaotic feeling was still my guidance. I felt like even being alive was too hard, I was too weak, I had no power or control. So I decided to try to suppress this guidance, and restrict myself to the things that were in my control, things that felt safe.

    But the chaotic vibration is still there. I have just tried to ignore it. Like there is a stormy sea and so I have pulled my boat up onto the shore in a small cove. And I have been too afraid to even look at that ocean.

    I can calibrate here. I can tell it as it really is. This awful chaotic feeling is my guidance. And I rightly withdrew from thinking about or focusing on that frightening vibration. But now I am so much clearer and aware. I want to set sail.
    I can calm the sea.
    Because I know that this awful chaotic feeling comes from being a child and sensing the violence and rage emanating from my father. I calibrated to that rage and insecurity and resentment and fear. I calibrated to his strong misaligned vibration. And naturally that felt so awful and confusing to me that I interpreted it as deadly chaos like a violent roiling sea.

    What I am doing right now is calibration, and it is positive energy and relief.

    My awful feelings were my guidance telling me not to calibrate to his misaligned vibration. But instead I listened to his verbal demand that I calibrate.
    I was not in danger, it just felt awful because I was paying attention to vibrations that were so far away from my desires and my inner being. I literally felt torn.

    I practiced those negative vibrations for about thirty three years, but I can change them much more quickly.

    Those vibrations do not need to be part of my reality. I get to choose what I do and do not include in my vibrational mix.

    Those vibrations belong to my father. They were never mine. They have never sat well with me. My inner being has never shared them. I do not need to pay respect to them. I do not need to remember the feeling or keep it alive. I do not need to believe in it or give it credence.

    It was the out-pouring of his shame and fear and guilt. It was never mine. I did not help him by sharing the burden. He wanted others to calibrate to him so he could feel better. But that does not serve him and does not serve me.

    What do I want? How do I want to feel instead of that chaotic awfulness?

    A vast, infinite, silver sparkling ocean of joy and love and eagerness and happiness.
    A vast ocean of love.

    The sea is mine to command. The ocean is mine. I get to decide how it be. I want the ocean to be a vast and eternal sparkling ocean of beauty and joy and eagerness and love and delight and fascination.
    I can make it so just by practicing these feelings with my new clarity and knowing.

  4. #2274
    Oh...the calibration is the key because it is closing the gap AND also enjoying the greater alignment/closeness.

    And I am always either getting closer or getting further away. And all good feelings come from getting closer. So there is really only calibration to enjoy.

    Manifestation is an advancing of calibration to an even clearer point. When I get my new house, it will be because I have calibrated to that level of feeling good. And immediately upon getting it I will launch new desires for more aspects of enjoyment, and I will begin calibrating to those fresh desires.

    My desires are all coming. If I do not see them yet, it is because I am not yet feeling good enough on average. And that may be for any number of reasons or gaps in my vibration.

    But I am calibrating more each day. So the fulfilment of my desires is inevitable. More: the cohesiveness of my calibration is right on target.

    My efforts have not been in vain. I have not been chaotic or incoherent. I have not been spinning my wheels. I have made steady progress to close some significant gaps.

    I have been doing so well to change my vibration. I have come from some unusual contrast with strong momentum and I have turned myself around. I have changed.

    I still have a belief: not enough. But I can immediately see that this is an old belief from the past. I was taught that I was not good enough and my efforts were not good enough. I calibrated to that. And now as I seek to raise my vibration, feel good, have the life i love, allow my desires to be fulfilled, i nonetheless think that my progress is not enough.

    My guidance shows that this is a misaligned thought. I will try some better feeling thoughts: I am enough, what I am doing is enough. My efforts are enough. My calibration is enough. I am making progress. I cannot make greater progress than I am, because I am where I am and I am doing my best. If I knew how to do better I would do better.

    When I know how to calibrate more effectively then I will do that. For now I am definitely doing my best. I am definitely doing my best. Right now I cannot do any better than I am doing. No one can criticise me. I cannot criticise myself. Such criticism would be baseless and unfair.

    I am doing the very best that anyone could do in my circumstances. There is nothing that I could be doing better or more or faster or more intently.

    I am doing the very very best and utmost that can be done by me in my life and my reality. And my life and reality includes the knowledge and clarity available to me, my vibrational mix. I am doing everything. I am doing everything I can do in accordance with my best guidance and my highest vibrational perspective now.

    Do I wish I could do better than that? Is that logical? Perhaps that wish is better understood as my strong desire to feel better. I want to feel better than I currently feel and I am doing my very best to feel better. My desire to feel better is so strong.

    When I know how to feel better, I will feel better. I do not benefit from self-criticism. I am feeling as good as I know and am able to feel right now. Demanding more of myself is actually causing me to feel worse.

    Amazing! I would feel even better if I just stopped judging myself for not feeling better than I feel. If I could be satisfied with my progress, I would immediately feel better.
    So instead of yearning to feel better than I feel, how about I appreciate the good work I am doing, my current ability to feel better, and the fact that I do feel better than I used to feel.

    If that is not enough, why? Who is it not enough for and why and how is it not enough?

  5. #2275
    The not enough thought.

    I have a sense that I am not where I want to be, and I believe I should keep trying until I get there.

    Part of this belief is that where I am is not good enough. That is resistant.
    I do not like where I am, where I am is not good enough. I do not have what I want.

    These are old beliefs and thoughts. The vibration of not enough, unwanted, lack, not good enough; it creates more, and dilutes my vibration.

    How do I find the vibration of satisfaction and appreciation without needing to first reach my goal?

    First I can acknowledge that I grew up in an environment with people vibrating lack and unwanted and misalignment in general, and who demanded that I calibrate to their misalignment.

    I can acknowledge that I no longer live in that environment and it is now purely my own vibrational habits creating these feelings of misalignment in me and my reality.

    I activate the vibration of lack, not good enough, unwanted, which I then use as my reason to drive myself harder, and my motivation to change.

    So, what would it look like if I found a vibration of good enough, wanted, satisfactory, and perfect as it is?

    I feel tranquility, peace, and a kind of light and open satisfaction. The feeling of pleasant appreciation that Oh this is good!
    I like this! What a peaceful place to be. What an easy place to be. I like this feeling.

    If I practice this, I won?t feel like I haven?t done enough. If I practice this light and open satisfaction and appreciation, I don?t have to demand more and more of myself.

  6. #2276
    Another component of not enough is the feeling of lack, chagrin that i feel now.

    I can calibrate.

    Well I had a number of disappointments when I was younger, in romance and friendships and popularity. It hurt, and I decided to not try anymore. I decided that it was pointless and humiliating to try.

    Looking back, I know that I was ill prepared by my home environment. I was afraid of ridicule and had no support or loving encouragement.

    So I did not rebound from failures. Instead I decided to stop trying and stop taking risks. I decided I would stop trying and thereby avoid hurt and disappointment.

    I understand why I did that, but it stinks. Taking failures or rejection to heart does not serve me. I don?t want to carry that callous of disappointment with me.

    It?s good that I tried. It?s fine that I failed. Better people, better friends, a better life came along. I am better off than I would have been back then. My failures fed my fresh desires.

  7. #2277
    I have a feeling of not enough, and I want to calibrate to a feeling of satisfaction.

    It helps to recognise that the not enough, with anger and rage attached, is an emotional flashback. I practiced it frequently, thanks to the people and conditions back then.

    It is very unpleasant guidance. I feel claustrophobic. Back then I could see no way out of the awfulness, so I turned inward and tried to find good feelings within me.

    But I left that vibration where it was.
    It is the result of continuous conflict with an aggressive and controlling person.
    This person had all the power, all the control, and did not care about my feelings, in fact he wanted me to feel helpless and to always submit. He wanted to constantly remind me that he had all the power. He wanted to see me always on edge, unsteady and scared of him. It gave him satisfaction to see me cowering and craven.

    I thought I had to do what he said, because he was my father and I was afraid of him. When I said No he was like a monster. I have been looking for somewhere to hide while leaving this vibration where it is.

    Even while doing my work, I have been hiding from that vibration and the painful guidance. I have been searching for power to push against and overcome that vibration and that experience. Because in my mind he can still overpower me.

    Part of me is still terrified that he will come for me, that I have not been subservient enough, that I can not justify my actions and choices. And I have tried to ignore all of this, while struggling with the painful guidance.

    I have never said no to him. I never stood up to him. I am still afraid he will hit me, though he is an old man now. I buried this under so many layers and efforts that it never felt this clear. But now it is so much clearer. I am still terrified of him, his anger and his threats if I am not sufficiently craven and subservient.

    That is why I started searching for spiritual freedom. That is why I started martial arts. I wanted to find safety and security from him.

    I can calibrate here. I can use Abes teachings to soothe and heal this misalignment. Because the awful fear I felt and still feel is not because of him directly but because of my thoughts about him.

    He threatened me and I calibrated to his threats. He wanted to hit me and I calibrated to danger and fear. It is true that he wanted to hurt me; but the power to be hurt or not hurt is in my vibrational stance.

    Calibrating to him let him be the proxy creator of my reality. Calibrating to him meant I followed his lead.

    I only feel afraid now because I think that if I say no to him he will get angry and if he gets angry he might even hurt me.

    Those strings of thought are well practiced. They come easily. But I am a powerful calibrator. I have had so much practice at calibrating my thoughts. I can easily calibrate here and choose better feeling thoughts and put an end to his nonsense.

    If I say no to him....words do not matter. Only my vibration matters. If I am defiant towards him, he does not like that. But it is none of my business what he likes and doesn?t like.
    If I stop being subservient to him he does not like that. Now that he is old, he just sulks and says mean things. When he was younger he would threaten and shout at me and say awful things to me.
    But it is none of my business what he likes and does not like. I do not like feeling subservient to others. I do not like feeling scared. I do not like feeling careful and afraid of upsetting others.

    What I want is a giant hammer or axe to drop on him when he tries to assert his bullshit. I simply want to drop that giant hammer on him and hammer it out of existence in an instant. I have been searching for that hammer but it has never felt like enough.
    What I truly need is not a literal hammer but the vibrational certainty to be completely myself and vibrationally free from old patterns of subservience and fear.

    My fear of him was emotional guidance telling me that my inner being did not fear him. My terror was emotional guidance telling me I had nothing to fear. I never needed to overcome him, I simply needed to change my thoughts so that I felt good again.

    If I had changed my thoughts, he would have disappeared from my reality. And if I change my thoughts now, my whole reality will change to reflect the freedom and the self-assuredness i have inside me.

    I can go back in time and let the younger parts of me say No to him with delight and impunity, because the only thing causing fear in me was the belief that I could be hurt.

    I cannot be hurt. I cannot be harmed. Fear of consequences is absurd because my vibration is the ruler and governor of all consequences. LoA is the only cause and effect at play.

    I cannot be hurt unless I attract hurt. All this time I have attracted not hurt but fear of it that never materialised.

    I cannot be harmed. No one can create in my reality. I was scared of him. I was afraid to say no to him. And I was afraid to be anything less than subservient. But I still controlled all of my thoughts. I denied my power, but I still had all the power.

    Now the question is: what will I calibrate to instead of calibrating to fear of him?

    How do I want to feel instead of subservient and afraid?

    Love, joy, freedom, Pride! Pride in myself. Ownership of myself. The abundance of myself. The fullness of me. My own colour. My own flavour. My own sound. My own energy. My own creation. My own momentum. My own identity. My own self.

    There are so many aspects of my inner being and my vortex reality to calibrate to. This is it. This is good. I am proud of this calibration. Thank you.

  8. #2278
    If i look at someone shouting and ranting and raging at me, it is not the person or their behaviour that causes me to feel fear or terror. It is my thought about the person.

    So when my father was abusive and violent and seemed to turn into a monster, it was my thoughts about him and his behaviour that caused me to feel fear and terror as guidance.

    Oh! But as I have learned from Marc here recently, my guidance is an invitation to align, and my alignment will present me with a new manifestation. I don?t have to accept the unwanted behaviour from that angry person. But if I align, everything will match my more aligned vibration.

    When I feel fear and trepidation, what thoughts am I thinking? Back then, in those conditions, I thought that if I made him angry he would turn into a monster. If I did not do what he wanted he would turn into a monster. And what would he do then as a monster? He would hurt me. I thought he would hurt me if I did not do what he wanted. I thought his anger would overpower him and he would physically maim and perhaps kill me, and it would be my fault for making him angry. I thought he would kick me so hard that I would break. So overall I thought: there is no telling what he might do if he gets angry enough.

    I believed that my safety and survival depended on him not getting angry and that depended on me placating him and not provoking him.

    These thoughts do not match my inner being perspective. My safety and survival did not depend on him, because I create my reality. His anger did not create my reality. I created him and his anger. I did not know it at the time. But my vibration and LoA were what put me in proximity to his anger.

    My vibration and LoA were the only things putting me in proximity to his anger.

    My vibration and LoA are still the only things putting me in proximity to his anger.

    My vibrational focus is the only thing causing me to feel guidance in the form of negative emotion.

    My negative emotion is inviting me to change my vibrational focus. Because the truth is that I am never in danger. I cannot be in danger. My vibration rules everything in my reality. I cannot get anything that doesn?t match my vibration.

    I have all the power that there is. There is no power other than my vibration working with LoA. There is no power other than my ability to focus towards feeling better or feeling worse. That is the only power operative in my whole reality.

    No one can hurt me. My father cannot hurt me. My father cannot hurt me. And my father cannot make me feel bad. No one can make me feel bad. No one can threaten me or make me feel threatened. No one can make me feel endangered. Because all feelings are my own relationship between my vibration and my inner being vibration. All feelings are the result of my thoughts in relative harmony with my inner being. All feelings are guidance.

    I get to choose which thoughts I focus on, and I get to practice my focus to be clearer and stronger. In both ways my focus determines how I feel. I get to choose which vibrations I offer and how clearly I offer them.

    I am the only one who can calibrate my focus. I am the only one who can decide how I will feel. And nothing can assert itself into my experience against my calibration.

  9. #2279
    I want to continue calibrating to my power of focus.

    I get to decide what thoughts and vibrations I focus on, and how deliberately I practice. It is up to me to focus and practice and be deliberate.

    All of my feelings are under my control.

    I am the only one who can control how I feel through deliberate focus.

    My focus is the only control over how I feel!

    My focus has Total control over how I feel.

    My focus is 100% the determinant of how I feel!

    My focus controls how I feel and nothing else can control how I feel.

  10. #2280
    I can build enough deliberate focus that I feel so good regardless of what is coming to me, and I will no longer wobble when I notice conditions.
    I will be out ahead of it.
    I will feel good regardless.
    I will have so much momentum that everything will change to suit me!

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